When Going Home Means Taking a Different Path
Most of the great epics, stories we’ve read and loved, have something in common: the hero is on a journey home. In The Odyssey, the story of Moses, Harry Potter, Dune, Moana, and Star Wars, the journey home is more than a series of encounters. It is the work the road does on the hero, shaping them, transforming them, making them heroic. It is the process of becoming who they were always meant to be.
The hero’s journey isn’t only about overcoming external challenges. It begins with the recognition that there is more for you; a journey of becoming you must take. Many of the greatest stories of scripture begin with the discomfort of leaving home or being taken from it. Disney films often do the same: the child loses their parents or must step into the world alone. It is a coming-of-age story in which the “home” they knew is gone, and they must discover who they are to truly return.
We Have to Leave Home
For many of us, life is marked by the first time we leave home — college, military service, or a leap into the unknown. The decision to leave is always accompanied by uncertainty. Adventure calls, the destination seems compelling, and the unknown is ignored for the sake of the journey ahead.
But leaving home is only part of the story. Discovering a new “home” emerges through being away, through testing ourselves in unfamiliar places. The jump out of the nest determines whether we will soar. Being in the new opens us to risk, and with risk comes growth.
One of my favorite examples is Moana, the wayfinder. Her home is being consumed by a darkness threatening her people, and she must journey across a dangerous sea. For her, leaving is terrifying, especially to her father, but she feels the pull of destiny and sets sail. The journey itself transforms her, preparing her to save her people and claim her own sense of home.
We Won’t Know the Way
I was recently talking with a client, a new empty-nester, and we reflected on the similarities between leaving the hospital with a newborn and coming home to a kid-less house for the first time. You think you know what to do, only to realize you’re in uncharted territory. Knowing what to do isn’t about prior knowledge — it will be about discovery.
This is a spiritual shift. Control of our circumstances tempts us to ask: What plans must I make? How do I maintain connection? How do I preserve belonging? Often, these questions are driven by fear, shame, or anger — emotions we seek to control rather than understand.
On the hero’s journey, characters learn to surrender the need to control, to belong, or to know. They convert fear, anger, and shame from barriers into guides. When these feelings arise, the question becomes: What are you teaching me about moving beyond comfort and into a way of being that values the present moment over the destination?
Companions Help Us Become Who We Are
Every epic has a companion who is a guide, a mentor, or a wisdom-bearer. Yoda, Dumbledore, and Lady Jessica all invite the hero to become their fullest self. They see the truer version of who the hero is becoming and know when to push, when to support, and when to let them stand alone.
Companions may be long-time friends, therapists, spiritual directors, or even the voices of books, podcasts, and stories. They invite us to go deeper and are essential to our growth.
On your journey, you may need an encounter with Dagobah, Hogwarts, or Arrakis to find the home you are seeking. You may also need the support of someone who is a voice of reason. I know I have. Some of the best advice I’ve heard is that you need three people in your life:
The Truth-Teller – Someone who speaks the hardest truths, even when it hurts.
The Objective Voice – Someone who lets you be irrational but helps you see the bigger picture.
The Caretaker – Someone who loves and supports you, no matter what.
These people may appear in unexpected ways. Moses found one of his voices in a burning bush; discovering that truth is personal and sacred, not just an idea, but a relationship. Odysseus finds his in Penelope’s steadfastness, a mirror for his wandering spirit. Harry Potter hears it through quiet moments that redirect him from longing toward living in reality.
Finding Our Way Home
This is the story of finding home: discovering what is real. It is not simply the house you grew up in or a place you return to, but the sense of belonging, grounding, and wholeness that arises when you are fully present with yourself and the world around you. We find it by stepping into the unknown, by moving through fear, and by embracing the uncertainty of the journey.
We find it by seeking companions. Voices who challenge us, guide us, and remind us of the truths we cannot yet see in ourselves. They help us recognize the patterns of courage, love, and wisdom that already live within us. They are mirrors and teachers, holding space for the parts of ourselves we are only beginning to discover.
We also find it by surrendering or letting go of the idea that the journey is about arriving, about conquering, or about controlling outcomes. Home is not a final stop on a map. It is the steady rhythm we feel when we live in alignment with our values, when we respond to life with curiosity instead of fear, and when we act from love rather than obligation.
In this way, home is not somewhere we reach; it is something we create. It is present in the courage to leave what is familiar, the humility to learn from our companions, and the awareness to see the sacred in ordinary moments. Every step, every challenge, every act of listening brings us closer to it.
Home, in the end, is not a place we arrive at once. It is a presence we inhabit, a truth we carry, and a way of being that we can return to again and again, no matter where life takes us.