You Need To Grieve

In the last few years the people of America have been asked to "move on" through some pretty traumatic happenings. We have moved on from kids and people being caged and families separated. We watched George Floyd get murdered on our screens. We have watched people charged with high crimes get favorable treatment and no justice was served. Breonna Taylor and so many others didn't get justice and we are told to "move on." We have had to sit by while our friends, families and neighbors get extremely sick and nearly 400,000 people have died from COVID.

The reality of "moving on" is extremely damaging to our souls. If we do not slow down, reflect or process we will not heal. I am thankful that today we have the opportunity to grieve the loss of so many of our siblings here in America today.

May we grieve together. When the tears begin, do not try to stop them... cry it out. If you are hurting and angry, sit down today and write it out. Find a journal or open up a google doc and just write it all down. It doesn't have to make sense. If you need to pray today, spend 10 minutes on a silent walk just breathing and then share your grief with your higher power.

You need to grieve today. Your soul needs it. Don't just move on.

A Different Kingdom

When Jesus' followers saw what was going to happen, they said, "Lord, should we strike with our swords?" And one of them struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his right ear. But Jesus answered, "No more of this!" And he touched the man's ear and healed him.

The Christ calls us into a different kingdom. He calls it several names but this Kingdom didn’t come to conquer with swords but with love.

Why Everything Is Spiritual

Henri Nouwen, one of my favorite authors, often includes spiritual exercises in his books. In one of his spiritual exercises, he invites us to spend 30 minutes in a guided meditative prayer. For the first 10 minutes you breathe and repeat “Jesus is God’s Beloved.” For the next 10 minutes you repeat “I am God’s Beloved,” and for the last 10 minutes you say “Everyone is God’s Beloved.” Think about that. For 20 minutes we are invited to say that not only are we God’s beloved, so is everyone else. It is here that we are able to identify with Jesus who, before his ministry begins, is called beloved by God. 

Jesus didn’t have to do anything other than be alive, wading out into dirty water. Can you see it? Jesus walking  into a muddy river toward a crazy man named John who has cricket parts in his beard. This guy has to smell horrible but Jesus presses on. In the midst of this scene, Jesus is girded by a voice that tells him he is beloved. He is God’s child.

In his book “Everything Is Spiritual,” Rob Bell tells us about his grandparents, his college years, the ups and downs of ministry and how he and his wife ended up in California after pastoring a mega-church in Grand Rapids, Michigan. In the midst of these stories he is reflecting, listening, and looking for the divine moments, no matter how small they may be. That is the work of spirituality. 

Richard Rohr is quoted as saying, “God comes to us disguised as our life.” So often we go to church or some other spiritual event and hope to experience God there. But the reality is that our lives are already holy. We are God’s beloved. That is the gospel. Bell tells us that even at the cellular level you can find connection to something infinite.

So today, reflect on your own story. Breathe in the fact that the universe has expanded to create and include you. You, your family, your neighbors, your community - they are all beloved. They are all spiritual. You don’t have to go somewhere holy to find God. God is there, disguised as your life.

Dreams, Mystical Experiences and Listening For The Holy Spirit

What if our dreams are God's prayers for us and to us? Dreams and other mystical experiences can sometimes be like scratch off tickets in that we may not be best served to scratch one too hard. Sometimes the Holy Spirit is speaking to us over time and through multiple occurrences and what is revealed is the leading of God in our lives. This episode's guest is Emily Turner, a spiritual director, a writer and a mystic. I wanted to have Emily on because she is tuned into listening and hearing from God in different ways. Sometimes listening to the ways that other people hear God speak in their lives, gives us a new perspective.

Finding God In New Places

Occasionally I think it is a good idea to just listen to someone's deconstruction story. Often times we hear our own stories reflected in their truths. About a decade ago in Nashville, I met Bob Hutchins who at the time owned a marketing agency. We haven't been in touch much but a year or two ago, I noticed a change in his social media posts and I decided to reach out and what I found was that Bob had been through a deconstruction of faith and I wanted to know more about his reconstruction process - so that is today's episode. We will listen to Bob's story, talk about learning to listen for God in new ways and we will see how much he knows about his adopted hometown of Nashville, Tennessee. Bob has written a book called Finally Human: Using digital media to restore culture and better our world.

Bob is the host of the Rumors Of Grace podcast. Learn more and listen at www.rumorsofgrace.com

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Born Again and Again with Author Megan Westra

Is all our Christian busyness interrupting our ability to grow spiritually? That is my first question to today’s guest Megan Westra. Megan is a pastor, speaker and an author. Her new book, “Born Again and Again,” touches on many of the words or concepts that may carry baggage for many people undergoing faith reconstruction. In this podcast we talk about moving from an individualistic kind of faith to a more communal view of salvation. We also talk about words that carry baggage and how to listen for a new meaning. You can find out more about Megan at www.meganwestra.com

Giving Up Control and Reconstructing Prayer

At different spots on our path we grow tired of or maybe lose the ability to use some faith practices we have grown up with. For me, a practice I have needed to reconstruct is prayer. I was taught to pray using the ACTS (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving and Supplication) method but a number of years ago, constantly asking God for "things" just didn't feel very prayerful anymore. So what do we do? We have to reconstruct. On this episode I am talking with Marcia and Tom Hotchkiss. Father Tom is an Episcopal priest and Marcia is a spiritual director. So who better than to have on to talk about prayer. Actually we are talking about how Marcia and Tom came later in life to spiritual practices, contemplation and letting go of our own need to be in control.

Trusting Your Interior Self & Listening For God's Guiding

The truest form of reconstruction is when your internal trust of God matches your external experiences with God. The Rev. Dr. Lil Smith is a seasoned Spiritual Director and a guide for many who are listening to new expressions of God in their lives. In this episode we talk about how it can be difficult to find that interior trust and how we see the Holy Spirit leading people through deconstruction of our traditional faith paradigms. I think I asked my best question yet and we do play a game along the way. 

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An Empath, Intuition and Reducing Anxiety Through Practice

In the COVID season of life we are all living in, what can we learn from someone who feels what everyone else is feeling. If an empath has learned to practice hope, then we can definitely learn to add to our own faith by listening. On this episode of the Reconstruction Calls Podcast, Aaron Manes speaks with Christy Stone (a therapist, spiritual director and an empath) about how to find the higher good in the midst of so much anxiety. 

What is an empath? An empath is a person who feels and absorbs other people's emotions and/or physical symptoms because of their high sensitivities.

Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or find other options here.

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What I've Learned -- A Recall Episode

As a spiritual director, I am a trained listener. In a spiritual direction session often I am just listening for the movement of God in someone's life. Over the course of this podcast I was really struck by a couple of moments so I wanted to bring those back and listen to them again. The podcast is all phone themed (I hope you have picked up on that by now) so let's just call this episode a recall. 

We start with my friend Kim. I wanted Kim to come and to talk about dreams and dream interpretation and what I learned was that Kim believes deeply that her life is speaking to her and when she is truly listening and trusting, she is hearing the voice of God. Now, I am still a bit skeptic of dreams but Kim made me want to listen deeper.

Right after the George Floyd murder, I didn't really want to do a podcast that would ignore what was happening but also I didn't want to pretend that my voice was so important that I would do a podcast on race. I asked a few friends and they encouraged me to add to the conversation but to find a unique way to do that. My friend Beth Childs is a history teacher and an advocate. When Beth and I settled on what we would talk about I was interested but during the podcast, I really felt like I learned so much and mainly I learned that history may not find us the truth but it will definitely let us hear and see multiple points of view of the same occurrence and honestly, I had never thought about that before. Let's listen to that part of our conversation.

And lastly on this recall podcast, my friend Glen is one of my sage friends. In the past six months or so I have been on a journey through the idea of the sacred feminine. When you are exploring new spirituality you often need new practices to recognize this growing area of your life. Prayer is a tricky practice for a lot of people I know and work with so the idea of mother earth and prayer made me want to have Glenn on to talk about that. His ancestors are natives and he has adopted a number of their practices into his own spirituality - I want to listen again today as I ask him about what many native people knew by living close to the earth and just listening to their surroundings.

Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or find other options here.

 

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Sadness, Anger, Loneliness: The Emotions Of Deconstruction

Deconstruction, like other types of change or loss, presents itself with recurring emotions and feelings. In this conversation with my friend Brian Brooks we talk about his story and experiences during his deconstruction process a few years ago. My hope here is for anyone currently in deconstruction to hear that they are not alone. For those of us who may be reconstructing, it is healing to hear these stories and reflect on our own journey again. Brian comes from the Church Of Christ tradition so we play a little game about acapella music and get a book recommendation. 

Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or find other options here.

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Pastoring Reconstructing People

Reconstructing people are unique people to be pastoring. If we are coming back to church, often we are coming from dynamic circumstances that may include abuse, loss of faith, radical belief change and much more. I called my friend and my pastor, Rev. Dr. Blair Thompson-White, to get some insight on what that is like. We discuss how to look for a church and why she thinks the deconstruction/reconstruction journey is a move of the Holy Spirit. And of course we play a game and Blair recommends a few books and a podcast in "Hung Up." 

Reconstruction Calls, Episode 10 with Rev. Dr. Blair Thompson-White

The Book Of Longings

Last year I stumbled onto Sue Monk Kidd. I am extremely late to the game but just happy to be here now. I have read a few of her books that have meant a great deal to me personally - specifically “The Dance Of The Dissident Daughter.”

So when I heard about this new book, “The Book Of Longings” I was excited. The premise is that in his early twenties Jesus met a girl and married her. This book isn’t about Jesus however, it is about Ana, it is Ana’s story. We get to re-live the stories of messiah, John The Baptist, Herod, Pilate and all of the characters from a completely different point of view and one that I believe is really important.

Sue Monk Kidd has been on a sacred feminine journey for some time now and she beautifully weaves in many of these themes into these characters. We get to hear the quiet prayer lives of the women including their prayers to Sofia. Ana is busy writing the stories of the s/heroes of the Hebrew faith and we even have an encounter with the goddess Isis.

Before I read the book, one of my friends said that it made Jesus seem more human. I would echo this. It enabled me to experience the story of Jesus from the ground. So often we can only see Jesus as Christ and I think that the gift of this book is the way we get to see Jesus as a real person, a day laborer, a family man, a husband and a person of great faith who lived his life in his calling.

I can’t recommend this book enough.

More About The Book:

In her mesmerizing fourth work of fiction, Sue Monk Kidd takes an audacious approach to history and brings her acclaimed narrative gifts to imagine the story of a young woman named Ana. Raised in a wealthy family with ties to the ruler of Galilee, she is rebellious and ambitious, with a brilliant mind and a daring spirit. She engages in furtive scholarly pursuits and writes narratives about neglected and silenced women. Ana is expected to marry an older widower, a prospect that horrifies her. An encounter with eighteen-year-old Jesus changes everything.

Their marriage evolves with love and conflict, humor and pathos in Nazareth, where Ana makes a home with Jesus, his brothers, and their mother, Mary. Ana's pent-up longings intensify amid the turbulent resistance to Rome's occupation of Israel, partially led by her brother, Judas. She is sustained by her fearless aunt Yaltha, who harbors a compelling secret. When Ana commits a brazen act that puts her in peril, she flees to Alexandria, where startling revelations and greater dangers unfold, and she finds refuge in unexpected surroundings. Ana determines her fate during a stunning convergence of events considered among the most impactful in human history.

Grounded in meticulous research and written with a reverential approach to Jesus's life that focuses on his humanity, The Book of Longings is an inspiring, unforgettable account of one woman's bold struggle to realize the passion and potential inside her, while living in a time, place and culture devised to silence her. It is a triumph of storytelling both timely and timeless, from a masterful writer at the height of her powers.

Dreams and A Deep Trust

In this episode of "Reconstruction Calls," Spiritual Director Aaron Manes talks with fellow spiritual director Kim Verriere. Kim is the founder of the Greater Love Collective (www.greaterlovecollective.org) which as a group is fostering self-discovery through Soulwork, Creativity, and Activism. The GLC provides both resources in these areas and a safe community in which to explore them. Another thing about Kim, and the reason she is on this episode, is that for several years she has been tracking and working with her dreams as part of her faith journey. So mute your line and listen in on this conversation of intentional reflection, listening to your deepest self and hearing from God in a new way; plus you will hear Aaron a little Billy Ocean. 

The Way Of The Rose

When you read spiritual books that are more general, they are about information and some story. When you read books on sacred feminine, they are about journey. I had never heard of this book before, “The Way Of The Rose” but I was interested in how it isn’t looking at the rosary from a catholic point of view but from a journey by its authors as they learned to follow the way of the goddess. They dig back into the history of the visions of Mary (and Isis before her) and listen to their hearts as they make connection with the earth and the newness of life that comes from our mother.

In this book you follow the story of its authors, Clark Strand (a Zen Buddhist Monk) and Perdita Way (A Feminist / Childhood Catholic) as they go from having an encounter with Madonnas all over the world and listening to their “girl” along the way.

I really loved the story and feel compelled to know more about the prayer mantra and practice of the rosary.

More About The Book:

Before a vision of a mysterious “Lady” invited Clark Strand and Perdita Finn to pray the rosary, they were not only uninterested in becoming Catholic but finished with institutional religion altogether. Their main spiritual concerns were the fate of the planet and the future of their children and grandchildren in an age of ecological collapse. But this Lady barely even referred to the Church and its proscriptions. Instead, she spoke of the miraculous power of the rosary to transform lives and heal the planet, and revealed the secrets she had hidden within the rosary’s prayers and mysteries—secrets of a past age when forests were the only cathedrals and people wove rose garlands for a Mother whose loving presence was as close as the ground beneath their feet. She told Strand and Finn:

The rosary is My body,
and My body is the body of the world.
Your body is one with that body.
What cause could there be for fear?

Weaving together their own remarkable story of how they came to the rosary, their discoveries about the eco-feminist wisdom at the heart of this ancient devotion, and the life-changing revelations of the Lady herself, the authors reveal an ancestral path—available to everyone, religious or not—that returns us to the powerful healing rhythms of the natural world.

Non-dualistic Worship Music with Ryan Flanigan

Reconstruction Calls Podcast - Episode 3

Spiritual director Aaron Manes calls his friend Ryan Flanigan (Worship Director at All Saints Anglican Church in Dallas, TX, and founder of Liturgical Folk - www.liturgicalfolk.com) to talk about reconstructing church music in an era of contemporary and traditional worship services - they also play a game called “OT or T. Swift” along the way.

Faith As A Jenga Tower

Reconstruction Calls Podcast - Episode 3

Spiritual Director Aaron Manes, calls his friend Kenton Self to talk about the process of deconstruction, and they talk about René Girard, Brian McLaren and Amy Grant.

The Dance Of The Dissident Daughter

The Sacred Feminine is a journey worth engaging. Our world is dominated by the hierarchical structures of the Sacred Masculine dominant world of faith. Sue Monk Kidd has become a reliable voice for me when it comes to exploring other worlds of spiritual direction.

In “Dance Of The Dissident Daughter” Sue goes on a journey from faithful evangelical, to mainline protestant, to an out-of-church but overtly spiritual person all because of her journey into the sacred feminine. Her story felt like mine in many ways except her work bringing to life the idea of the mother, the voice of Mary as not only contemplative but powerful figure was inspiring for me. I really enjoyed listening to the changing dynamics of her family in her process.

Her willingness to share her fear, her doubt, and just her realness is inspiring. This book is older but as it was new for me. I believe it may have aged very well and can be used for a long time to talk about the story of transfiguration into the balance between sacred masculine and feminine which we should all seek.

If you are looking for a way out of your ordinary faith box and would like to embrace the wholeness of the earth, the interconnectedness of humanity and a bigger idea of God, this book will help give you that new perspective. It may even be life changing.

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More About “The Dance Of The Dissident Daughter” by Sue Monk Kidd
For years, Sue Monk Kidd was a conventionally religious woman. Then, in the late 1980s, she experienced an unexpected awakening, and began a journey toward a feminine spirituality. With the exceptional storytelling skills that have helped make her name, Kidd tells her very personal story of the fear, anger, healing, and freedom she experienced on the path toward the wholeness that many women have lost in the church.

From a jarring encounter with sexism in a suburban drugstore, to monastery retreats and to rituals in the caves of Crete, she reveals a new level of feminine spiritual consciousness for all women—one that retains a meaningful connection with the "deep song of Christianity," embraces the sacredness of ordinary women’s experience, and has the power to transform in the most positive ways every fundamental relationship in a woman's life—her marriage, her career, and her religion.

Reconstruction Calls Episode 1: Mike & Kari Baumann

Reconstruction Calls Episode 1

Spiritual Director Aaron Manes calls his friends Mike and Kari Baumann to talk about evolving in faith as partners and walking the road of parenting as reconstructed people. We talk about everything from Enneagram to DC Talk to growing up adjacent to Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker.

This podcast was recorded for Arapaho United Methodist Church

Listen on Spotify (Click Here)

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A New Earth

What is the meaning of your life? A better question may be, what is making up your life? Eckhart Tolle’s most recent book, “A New Earth” teaches that life is made up of today, this present moment for it is all we have. This noted teacher of presence goes a step further in helping a reader learn their purpose and then how to marry their inner purpose with their outer purpose - there we will find a truly fulfilled life.

While reading this book I was reminded of how often we are focused on what has happened to us in the past and how we use that to steer our present life. For many of us that means there is pain or shame just below the surface of our skin and we bring that to bear on the world. What I love that Tolle does is that he shows us how all of the great spiritual teachers practice forgiveness and presence in a way that allows them and us to live in a present way with people and the world.

This book felt a little long to me but toward the end there were some real jewels about finding purpose and how if we will engage that can change our lives. I did like “The Power Of Now” more but this book is a great addition.

A question for the comments: As you have done Enneagram or Meyers-Briggs work, how is your number/type affecting your soul or your presence living?

About The Book: An article in Success magazine describes A New Earth as a "self-improvement book" that encourages its readers to live their lives in each present moment and to create happiness for themselves without emphasizing material possessions. Tolle's intent is to change the way human beings think, and he envisions a world population that is increasingly humble, enlightened and pure. According to Tolle, the book's purpose "is not to add new information or beliefs to your mind or to try to convince you of anything, but to bring about a shift in consciousness".

In the book, Tolle asserts that everyone can find "the freedom and joy of life" if they live in the present moment. The book describes human dysfunction, selfishness, anxiety and the inhumanity we inflict on each other, as well as mankind's failed attempts to find life meaning and purpose through material possessions and unhealthy relationships. It asserts that thoughts can have a powerful and beneficial "effect on the healing process", and puts forth a concept of "evolutionary transformation of human consciousness" which prompts the reader to participate in "honest self-evaluation [that] can lead to positive change."