What Is Spiritual Direction?

In each one of these podcasts I introduce myself as “Spiritual Director Aaron Manes.” But what is a spiritual director? Sure, you can google it, you can look up the big spiritual direction entity that is Spiritual Directors International (www.sdicompanions.org) and find a definition, but I thought it would be a good opportunity to have my friends and fellow Spiritual Director’s Kim Verriere and Emily Turner on to talk about this with me. Kim and Emily have both been on the podcast before so you can listen back to find out their typologies and a little more about each of them. If you would like to know more about what happens during spiritual direction, what sorts of things are discussed and how working with a trained listener affects your life, then this podcast is for you. 

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Church Is Complicated

Church - for so many people right now, it is complicated. I recently did a talk for a spiritual ministry here in Dallas and it was about this idea of America becoming less religious and more spiritual. One of the best metaphors I know is from author Robert Putnam. He says that interest in bowling is at an all time high and yet interest in bowling leagues is at an all time low.

You see, people want to bowl but they don’t want to do it formally. The church trend trackers are seeing similar trends when it come to going to church. What has become apparent for a lot of people I know is that they discovered they didn’t need to go sit in a sanctuary to have church, to have community. Their faith community they realized were the people that care about them and those who they care about.

In this first edition of "It's Complicated," there isn't a guest. Just me talking about the reality of church-going and living a more spiritual life. The truth of the spiritual or reconstructing life is that often what irks us, is just an invitation in disguise. 

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Deconstruction, Reconstruction and Seminary

By the time someone has gone through the deconstructing process, they often find themselves in a new place - even a whole new person. Many people talk about feeling more open-hearted, more connected, more of a lot of things. And it is from that place that they take on new things. In this episode, I am talking with my friend Lindsay O’Connor who is a great follow on social media for all her book wisdom. (Instagram: @LindsayLOConnor) but she is also an enneagram knower and is on a journey doing racial reconciliation. All of this work found her with a desire to go to seminary and that is something I wanted to talk to her more about.

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We Must First Belong

Deconstruction & Reconstruction are an invitation to never stop believing. In this conversation with Rev. Jared Houze, we discover that part of the process is that before we can believe, we must first belong. Knowing that we belong to community gives us a place to believe from. This insight came from a real curious question related to what he would like for his kids -- being that he grew up baptist and is now an Episcopal priest. Come listen into this call to also hear some real wisdom in the work of reconciliation and how the church is uniquely positioned to bring people together. 

Rev. Jared Houze is the senior minister at St. Andrews Episcopal Church in Abilene, Texas. 

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Justice, Songs & The Bible

When you are tasked to write songs that reflect your life and at the same time have those songs call people to justice - remembering that peacemaking without justice isn't unity - how do you do that? Paul Zach (Singer/Songwriter, The Porter's Gate) is doing just that. Our conversation today is one of how to engage honestly with what is happening in our world today and draw creativity from it. We also talk about how to pick up the Bible again after growing up with it being a weapon of shame and fear. If we can read the book differently, we can hope to see ourselves better.

About The Guest:

Paul Zach (www.paulzachmusic.com) is a lead songwriter for The Porter's Gate - an ecumenical group founded to help worship leaders respond theologically to the pressing questions of our times through the writing of new worship songs and the creation of new liturgical resources. Paul also has a new album out called "Hymns" which is streaming on Spotify and Apple Music.

A Prayer For Hope

God of Hope

We come to you on this day,

A day we set aside to rest and to experience worship together.

We have hope today as we hear the news of a vaccine.

We are grateful for the doctors and scientists who continue to work on our behalf.

It has been hard to be hopeful.

We continue to experience loss and grief and anxiety.

For those today who are struggling and lack for hope -

Lord, Hear our Prayers.

God our Mother,

We come to you on this day.

In a season where justice and mercy feel distant,

We open our hands and our hearts.

We give you the breath in our lungs.

We ask for your Spirit, your life-giving power,

That we may be healers of relationships;

That we may bind up the wounds of our neighbors

and heal the broken hearted.

For there are many who need us -

Lord, hear our prayers.

God, it can be scary to work outside our comfort zones.

It can be troubling to hear you call us into new places.

Give us the faith to know that you are with us,

That you are for us,

And that you are ahead of us.

As we look and listen for you in our lives,

May we see you and may we hear you -

Lord hear our prayers.

We come to you know now from our living room televisions, our smart devices, computers and in this sanctuary. We pray now the prayer that Jesus taught us to pray saying…

Our father, who art in heaven,

Hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come.

Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us of our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

Lead us not into temptation,

But deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom, and the power

and the glory forever and ever.

Amen.

You Need To Grieve

In the last few years the people of America have been asked to "move on" through some pretty traumatic happenings. We have moved on from kids and people being caged and families separated. We watched George Floyd get murdered on our screens. We have watched people charged with high crimes get favorable treatment and no justice was served. Breonna Taylor and so many others didn't get justice and we are told to "move on." We have had to sit by while our friends, families and neighbors get extremely sick and nearly 400,000 people have died from COVID.

The reality of "moving on" is extremely damaging to our souls. If we do not slow down, reflect or process we will not heal. I am thankful that today we have the opportunity to grieve the loss of so many of our siblings here in America today.

May we grieve together. When the tears begin, do not try to stop them... cry it out. If you are hurting and angry, sit down today and write it out. Find a journal or open up a google doc and just write it all down. It doesn't have to make sense. If you need to pray today, spend 10 minutes on a silent walk just breathing and then share your grief with your higher power.

You need to grieve today. Your soul needs it. Don't just move on.

A Different Kingdom

When Jesus' followers saw what was going to happen, they said, "Lord, should we strike with our swords?" And one of them struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his right ear. But Jesus answered, "No more of this!" And he touched the man's ear and healed him.

The Christ calls us into a different kingdom. He calls it several names but this Kingdom didn’t come to conquer with swords but with love.

Why Everything Is Spiritual

Henri Nouwen, one of my favorite authors, often includes spiritual exercises in his books. In one of his spiritual exercises, he invites us to spend 30 minutes in a guided meditative prayer. For the first 10 minutes you breathe and repeat “Jesus is God’s Beloved.” For the next 10 minutes you repeat “I am God’s Beloved,” and for the last 10 minutes you say “Everyone is God’s Beloved.” Think about that. For 20 minutes we are invited to say that not only are we God’s beloved, so is everyone else. It is here that we are able to identify with Jesus who, before his ministry begins, is called beloved by God. 

Jesus didn’t have to do anything other than be alive, wading out into dirty water. Can you see it? Jesus walking  into a muddy river toward a crazy man named John who has cricket parts in his beard. This guy has to smell horrible but Jesus presses on. In the midst of this scene, Jesus is girded by a voice that tells him he is beloved. He is God’s child.

In his book “Everything Is Spiritual,” Rob Bell tells us about his grandparents, his college years, the ups and downs of ministry and how he and his wife ended up in California after pastoring a mega-church in Grand Rapids, Michigan. In the midst of these stories he is reflecting, listening, and looking for the divine moments, no matter how small they may be. That is the work of spirituality. 

Richard Rohr is quoted as saying, “God comes to us disguised as our life.” So often we go to church or some other spiritual event and hope to experience God there. But the reality is that our lives are already holy. We are God’s beloved. That is the gospel. Bell tells us that even at the cellular level you can find connection to something infinite.

So today, reflect on your own story. Breathe in the fact that the universe has expanded to create and include you. You, your family, your neighbors, your community - they are all beloved. They are all spiritual. You don’t have to go somewhere holy to find God. God is there, disguised as your life.

Dreams, Mystical Experiences and Listening For The Holy Spirit

What if our dreams are God's prayers for us and to us? Dreams and other mystical experiences can sometimes be like scratch off tickets in that we may not be best served to scratch one too hard. Sometimes the Holy Spirit is speaking to us over time and through multiple occurrences and what is revealed is the leading of God in our lives. This episode's guest is Emily Turner, a spiritual director, a writer and a mystic. I wanted to have Emily on because she is tuned into listening and hearing from God in different ways. Sometimes listening to the ways that other people hear God speak in their lives, gives us a new perspective.

Finding God In New Places

Occasionally I think it is a good idea to just listen to someone's deconstruction story. Often times we hear our own stories reflected in their truths. About a decade ago in Nashville, I met Bob Hutchins who at the time owned a marketing agency. We haven't been in touch much but a year or two ago, I noticed a change in his social media posts and I decided to reach out and what I found was that Bob had been through a deconstruction of faith and I wanted to know more about his reconstruction process - so that is today's episode. We will listen to Bob's story, talk about learning to listen for God in new ways and we will see how much he knows about his adopted hometown of Nashville, Tennessee. Bob has written a book called Finally Human: Using digital media to restore culture and better our world.

Bob is the host of the Rumors Of Grace podcast. Learn more and listen at www.rumorsofgrace.com

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Born Again and Again with Author Megan Westra

Is all our Christian busyness interrupting our ability to grow spiritually? That is my first question to today’s guest Megan Westra. Megan is a pastor, speaker and an author. Her new book, “Born Again and Again,” touches on many of the words or concepts that may carry baggage for many people undergoing faith reconstruction. In this podcast we talk about moving from an individualistic kind of faith to a more communal view of salvation. We also talk about words that carry baggage and how to listen for a new meaning. You can find out more about Megan at www.meganwestra.com

Giving Up Control and Reconstructing Prayer

At different spots on our path we grow tired of or maybe lose the ability to use some faith practices we have grown up with. For me, a practice I have needed to reconstruct is prayer. I was taught to pray using the ACTS (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving and Supplication) method but a number of years ago, constantly asking God for "things" just didn't feel very prayerful anymore. So what do we do? We have to reconstruct. On this episode I am talking with Marcia and Tom Hotchkiss. Father Tom is an Episcopal priest and Marcia is a spiritual director. So who better than to have on to talk about prayer. Actually we are talking about how Marcia and Tom came later in life to spiritual practices, contemplation and letting go of our own need to be in control.

Trusting Your Interior Self & Listening For God's Guiding

The truest form of reconstruction is when your internal trust of God matches your external experiences with God. The Rev. Dr. Lil Smith is a seasoned Spiritual Director and a guide for many who are listening to new expressions of God in their lives. In this episode we talk about how it can be difficult to find that interior trust and how we see the Holy Spirit leading people through deconstruction of our traditional faith paradigms. I think I asked my best question yet and we do play a game along the way. 

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An Empath, Intuition and Reducing Anxiety Through Practice

In the COVID season of life we are all living in, what can we learn from someone who feels what everyone else is feeling. If an empath has learned to practice hope, then we can definitely learn to add to our own faith by listening. On this episode of the Reconstruction Calls Podcast, Aaron Manes speaks with Christy Stone (a therapist, spiritual director and an empath) about how to find the higher good in the midst of so much anxiety. 

What is an empath? An empath is a person who feels and absorbs other people's emotions and/or physical symptoms because of their high sensitivities.

Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or find other options here.

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What I've Learned -- A Recall Episode

As a spiritual director, I am a trained listener. In a spiritual direction session often I am just listening for the movement of God in someone's life. Over the course of this podcast I was really struck by a couple of moments so I wanted to bring those back and listen to them again. The podcast is all phone themed (I hope you have picked up on that by now) so let's just call this episode a recall. 

We start with my friend Kim. I wanted Kim to come and to talk about dreams and dream interpretation and what I learned was that Kim believes deeply that her life is speaking to her and when she is truly listening and trusting, she is hearing the voice of God. Now, I am still a bit skeptic of dreams but Kim made me want to listen deeper.

Right after the George Floyd murder, I didn't really want to do a podcast that would ignore what was happening but also I didn't want to pretend that my voice was so important that I would do a podcast on race. I asked a few friends and they encouraged me to add to the conversation but to find a unique way to do that. My friend Beth Childs is a history teacher and an advocate. When Beth and I settled on what we would talk about I was interested but during the podcast, I really felt like I learned so much and mainly I learned that history may not find us the truth but it will definitely let us hear and see multiple points of view of the same occurrence and honestly, I had never thought about that before. Let's listen to that part of our conversation.

And lastly on this recall podcast, my friend Glen is one of my sage friends. In the past six months or so I have been on a journey through the idea of the sacred feminine. When you are exploring new spirituality you often need new practices to recognize this growing area of your life. Prayer is a tricky practice for a lot of people I know and work with so the idea of mother earth and prayer made me want to have Glenn on to talk about that. His ancestors are natives and he has adopted a number of their practices into his own spirituality - I want to listen again today as I ask him about what many native people knew by living close to the earth and just listening to their surroundings.

Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or find other options here.

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Sadness, Anger, Loneliness: The Emotions Of Deconstruction

Deconstruction, like other types of change or loss, presents itself with recurring emotions and feelings. In this conversation with my friend Brian Brooks we talk about his story and experiences during his deconstruction process a few years ago. My hope here is for anyone currently in deconstruction to hear that they are not alone. For those of us who may be reconstructing, it is healing to hear these stories and reflect on our own journey again. Brian comes from the Church Of Christ tradition so we play a little game about acapella music and get a book recommendation. 

Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or find other options here.

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Pastoring Reconstructing People

Reconstructing people are unique people to be pastoring. If we are coming back to church, often we are coming from dynamic circumstances that may include abuse, loss of faith, radical belief change and much more. I called my friend and my pastor, Rev. Dr. Blair Thompson-White, to get some insight on what that is like. We discuss how to look for a church and why she thinks the deconstruction/reconstruction journey is a move of the Holy Spirit. And of course we play a game and Blair recommends a few books and a podcast in "Hung Up." 

Reconstruction Calls, Episode 10 with Rev. Dr. Blair Thompson-White

The Book Of Longings

Last year I stumbled onto Sue Monk Kidd. I am extremely late to the game but just happy to be here now. I have read a few of her books that have meant a great deal to me personally - specifically “The Dance Of The Dissident Daughter.”

So when I heard about this new book, “The Book Of Longings” I was excited. The premise is that in his early twenties Jesus met a girl and married her. This book isn’t about Jesus however, it is about Ana, it is Ana’s story. We get to re-live the stories of messiah, John The Baptist, Herod, Pilate and all of the characters from a completely different point of view and one that I believe is really important.

Sue Monk Kidd has been on a sacred feminine journey for some time now and she beautifully weaves in many of these themes into these characters. We get to hear the quiet prayer lives of the women including their prayers to Sofia. Ana is busy writing the stories of the s/heroes of the Hebrew faith and we even have an encounter with the goddess Isis.

Before I read the book, one of my friends said that it made Jesus seem more human. I would echo this. It enabled me to experience the story of Jesus from the ground. So often we can only see Jesus as Christ and I think that the gift of this book is the way we get to see Jesus as a real person, a day laborer, a family man, a husband and a person of great faith who lived his life in his calling.

I can’t recommend this book enough.

More About The Book:

In her mesmerizing fourth work of fiction, Sue Monk Kidd takes an audacious approach to history and brings her acclaimed narrative gifts to imagine the story of a young woman named Ana. Raised in a wealthy family with ties to the ruler of Galilee, she is rebellious and ambitious, with a brilliant mind and a daring spirit. She engages in furtive scholarly pursuits and writes narratives about neglected and silenced women. Ana is expected to marry an older widower, a prospect that horrifies her. An encounter with eighteen-year-old Jesus changes everything.

Their marriage evolves with love and conflict, humor and pathos in Nazareth, where Ana makes a home with Jesus, his brothers, and their mother, Mary. Ana's pent-up longings intensify amid the turbulent resistance to Rome's occupation of Israel, partially led by her brother, Judas. She is sustained by her fearless aunt Yaltha, who harbors a compelling secret. When Ana commits a brazen act that puts her in peril, she flees to Alexandria, where startling revelations and greater dangers unfold, and she finds refuge in unexpected surroundings. Ana determines her fate during a stunning convergence of events considered among the most impactful in human history.

Grounded in meticulous research and written with a reverential approach to Jesus's life that focuses on his humanity, The Book of Longings is an inspiring, unforgettable account of one woman's bold struggle to realize the passion and potential inside her, while living in a time, place and culture devised to silence her. It is a triumph of storytelling both timely and timeless, from a masterful writer at the height of her powers.

Dreams and A Deep Trust

In this episode of "Reconstruction Calls," Spiritual Director Aaron Manes talks with fellow spiritual director Kim Verriere. Kim is the founder of the Greater Love Collective (www.greaterlovecollective.org) which as a group is fostering self-discovery through Soulwork, Creativity, and Activism. The GLC provides both resources in these areas and a safe community in which to explore them. Another thing about Kim, and the reason she is on this episode, is that for several years she has been tracking and working with her dreams as part of her faith journey. So mute your line and listen in on this conversation of intentional reflection, listening to your deepest self and hearing from God in a new way; plus you will hear Aaron a little Billy Ocean.